What's Best for Tony
by Magos186
Summary: Sometimes, you have to do what's right for you, regardless of how anyone else feels. When Tony finds out he was purposely left out of a team dinner, a fact which the whole team laughs about in his face, he decides to do what's best for himself. This time, there's nothing to run away from, but maybe he'll eventually find something to run to. AU-tag to end of 3.12 Boxed In.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I have been crazy bored lately and my NCIS marathon is waking my muses to a new fandom for me. I seriously have half a dozen NCISers floating around my head at the moment. I got bored and this one literally just popped into my head. Don't ask me why since I'm currently in season 6 of my marathon. Anyway, take a gander at it. Let me know what you think. No planned ships at the moment. Slight Ziva bashing in this chapter.

I do not own NCIS nor make any profit from this. I just love Tony.

* * *

Tony watched as the team stood around laughing at his expense. He hid his hurt behind a mask of indifference and waited for them to finish. When it didn't look like they were going to, he discreetly took out his cell phone and called himself. "DiNozzo," he said, picking up the office phone. "Uh huh…uh huh. Be right up." He hung up the phone and stood. "Have to take a rain check on that dinner Ziva. I have a meeting."

He turned and hurried up the stairs before anyone had a chance to comment. He walked into the director's outer office. "Hey Cynthia. Is the director available?" He asked, not noticing her door was partially open.

"Come on in," the director said as she fully opened the door. He followed her into the office and closed the door behind him, before walking over to sit on the other side of her desk. "What can I do for you Agent DiNozzo?"

"Have you ever read my file Director?"

"Yes, I have. It makes for some interesting reading. There are even a few commendations from the previous director and Gibbs himself. You are one of our best agents."

"Thank you ma'am. You know then how long I've been a cop, how long I've been an investigator, how long I've worked with Gibbs. You also know that I've never stayed anywhere longer than two years, yet I've been at NCIS for almost four. I truly enjoy being an NCIS field agent and I have greatly enjoyed being on Gibbs' team. However I would like a transfer."

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Jenny asked shocked. Of all the people on the MCRT, she expected McGee would be the one to ask for a transfer; never DiNozzo, who had the reputation of being Gibbs' lap dog. She'd read the reports from when the two of them were partners together. A team of two after Blackadder went back to the FBI. They stayed a team of two for an entire year before Agent Todd came aboard.

"I'd like a transfer from the MCRT. I know that you're new to the position of director, but may I speak freely without repercussions?"

"Go ahead. I'd like to know what you're thinking."

"I am the senior field agent on that team. As such, any new personnel choices are made by me and approved by Gibbs, although we both wanted Kate to work with us. The point is that we pick our own team. It's always been this way since I started with Gibbs. When we lost Kate—" Tony stopped talking for a minute. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to reign in his emotions. "When that happened, both of us agreed that we'd be better off a three man team. We were fine when it was just the two of us, and we knew that we didn't need a replacement agent. Then you became director and shoved someone onto our team without our approval. It would be understandable; at least, if she was an agent, however she's not. Mossad has no place working major crimes. She is not an investigator. She is an assassin. We already have one Probie, we do not need another. Since you shoved her off on us, she has been arrogant and extremely disrespectful. I am her superior and she is to listen to me, however she has done nothing but undermine me since she got here.

"I know what she's doing. She's likely put together profiles on our entire team and I'm sure mine is that of a lazy playboy. She has no notion of my skills or experience. She questions my authority at every turn and does not listen when I try to help her learn the job. I do not trust her. She is trying to ingratiate herself with the members of our team and they seem to have all fallen for it. In my case, she's clearly been trying to seduce me, but I'd rather eat my own arm then sleep with her.

"We weren't just a team director. We were a family. I lost my sister just a few short months ago. Our family has had each other to rely on to help us heal, but she's come in here and is tearing that family apart. And I'm done with it. I currently have 26 stitches in my arm from being shot. She has been telling everyone that I cut my arm on one of the boxes we used for cover in the fire fight. I do not trust her. I cannot work with her. You put her on our team for whatever the hell reason was going through your head at the time. She doesn't belong on it. If you wanted her to work for the agency, you should have put her in Intel where her contacts will actually be useful. Gibbs said you put her with us because you want her to learn from him. Well guess what? Gibbs isn't a single agent. He already has a team and he doesn't need an apprentice. But at this point, I don't care anymore. They all can and clearly will do whatever the hell they want and I'm just done. So I'd like a transfer or I will resign. I have had multiple job offers from the other alphabets over the years. Assistant Director Morrow keeps trying to recruit me over to Homeland."

"I'm sure that won't be necessary. Can you give me a few days to come up with a list of available positions?"

"Of course, Director. If you don't mind, while you're doing that, I'd like to take four days sick leave."

"Because of your arm?"

"Because I had the plague a few months ago and spending an entire day locked in a cold damp box is dangerous for my health. I'm meeting my doctor in the morning to get checked out."

"I'll let Agent Gibbs know about the sick leave. Tomorrow's Wednesday so I'll even give your team the weekend off so you have a few extra days to rest. Be back in my office at 7am on Monday morning and we'll discuss your options."

"Thank you ma'am," Tony said as he stood. "If you don't mind, I'd like to keep this confidential for now."

"That won't be a problem Agent DiNozzo."

"Thank you. Have a good night Director."


	2. Chapter 2

Super huge thanks to everyone who's left me amazing reviews so far. I'm actually a little scared to continue now because I don't want to let any of you down. I'll do my best not to disappoint anyone.

* * *

By the time Saturday rolled around, Tony was bored out of his mind. Both his refrigerator and freezer were full of individual Tupperware meals, breads, pizzas, and he had an array of Italian pastries made as well. It was hard to do some of it one handed, but he was determined. When the going gets tough, the Italians get cooking…or baking…or both, in Tony's case. He'd always enjoyed cooking. When he was a kid, not long after his mother died, his father hired an Italian chef. He spent a lot of time in the kitchen, Giuseppe teaching him everything he knew from how to make pasta to cannoli shells. If he wanted to, he could open his own restaurant or bakery. In fact, that was something he often thought about doing when he finally retired from the field.

For now though, he needed someone to talk to…someone to tell him he wasn't crazy or being a coward for wanting to leave "Team Trustworthy." That pissed him off more than anything. They didn't know this chick from Eve and all of them were so willing to just let her in. He couldn't do it. He was a cop and a cop always trusts their instincts. And his instincts told him that Ziva David was not trustworthy; especially because she could not follow the orders of her superiors. Although that inability probably came with the territory of having her father as her boss.

The beeping of his cell phone pulled him from his thoughts. He flipped it open to reveal a text message from Abby. "_Hey Tonyboy. I need to talk to you. Call me." _Of all the people on Gibbs' team, it was Abby's actions that hurt the most. He knew McGee would have relished the thought of being included in something Tony was left out of. He also knew that it wasn't hard to believe Gibbs would have gone to Ziva's. After all, they seemed to have some deep connection. It probably had something to do with the fact that Ziva killed Ari to save Gibbs. No one else knew that. The official report said his boss was the one to pull the trigger, but Tony's investigative skills were impeccable.

"_Don't ignore me DiNozzo. Call me,"_ came the next text from Abby. He never expected Abby to act the way she did. That smug little smile on her face as they all rubbed in the fact Tony had missed a team event. Abby was his best friend. They had been so close for so long. It took them about a month to warm up to each other when he first started at NCIS, but since then, they'd always been there for each other. They grew even closer when they lost Kate. She was their sister. The two went to church regularly to light a candle and pray a novena for her. They made a pact after she died that no matter what happened, they'd never go a day without talking. If they got into a fight, they'd work their issues out before the day was over. He hadn't actually broken the pact…he'd texted her on the first sick day and told her he wasn't feeling well, but not to worry because Brad was taking care of him. And that was true. Brad had run several tests over the past few days, but it looked like Tony had survived the experience with just a head cold. He was under strict orders to inform Brad immediately if a cough developed. He was also under orders to do a nebulizer treatment every night as well as breathing exercises every morning, but that had more to do with the smoke inhalation. He'd done as ordered as well as rested, but by mid-Friday he couldn't take it anymore and had begun his cook-a-thon.

Suddenly someone knocked on his door. He wasn't expecting company so he had no idea who it could be. He was sorely tempted to ignore it, just pretend he wasn't home and the person would go away. But there was always a chance they'd come back later. So instead of ignoring it, he heaved himself off the couch and made his way to the door. He opened it without looking in the peep-hole. The chain was on, so if someone wanted to break in, they'd have to do at least some work.

"Anthony DiNozzo, how dare you ignore me!" Abby shouted as soon as the door was cracked.

"I'm not ignoring you Abs. I told you I was sick."

"And I've left you alone for the past few days so you could rest, but I needed to see you for myself. Now open up and let me in. I brought you soup."

"I hope you didn't bring a lot," he said as he closed the door, removed the chain, and opened it again. "I have enough food to last me a month."

"And just who did all the cooking?" She asked as she made her way to his kitchen.

"I did. I got bored," he replied as he followed her, plopping himself down on a stool at the breakfast bar.

"So are you okay?" She asked as she put the container of soup down on the counter. "What did Brad say?"

"It's just a head cold. I'm fine."

Abby sat down on the stool next to him, forcing him to turn so they were looking at each other and she took his hand in hers. "Tony, I'm sorry. And don't even spout the rule at me because you're my best friend and it's not a sign of weakness if you're my friend."

"What are you sorry about then?"

"I'm sorry I—we—I teased you about missing Ziva's party. When I looked in your eyes, I saw how hurt you were. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. And the only reason I can think of that you were hurt is because you didn't know about it. But Ziva wouldn't do that right? I mean she can't be that mean can she? But then that got me thinking that we don't really know her that well. We've all just sort of accepted her place on the team, but she doesn't know how to be on a team. She's a lone wolf and she's definitely not an investigator and Kate was great at it. She learned so much from you and Gibbs and I don't know why the director would replace an investigator with an assassin. It doesn't make sense. Though I'm sure she had her reasons, but I—"

"Abby, breathe," Tony interrupted. Abby took a deep breath and smiled shyly.

"Right, breathing, okay. I really am sorry Tony. I didn't know she didn't invite you."

"It's alright Abs. It just made me realize something."

"I'm really scared to ask, but what is it?"

"That it's time for me to leave," he said softly. Before he could explain further, he had his arms full as Abby tried to squeeze the life out of him, although she was careful not to squeeze his injured arm.

"But you can't leave. The team needs you. I need you. We only lost Kate a couple months ago. Who's going to be there for me when I have nightmares about it? Who's going to go clubbing with me just to make sure I get home safely and I'm not drugged by some psycho? Who's going to light a candle with me every week? Who's going to watch movies with me all day and stay up talking all night? Who's going to cook for me on the weekends or bring me a brownie whenever I'm having a bad day?"

"I'll still be there for you, no matter what. It doesn't matter if I'm in DC or on the other side of the world. I'll always be here for you Abs. You'll find someone else to keep you safe when you go clubbing. We can still stay up all night and talk. I'll mail you care packages of desserts if you want. But this is something I need to do."

"Just tell me why," Abby said as she moved back to her own stool, still holding onto Tony's hand.

"I don't trust Ziva. With this job, trust is everything and if I can't trust her to have my back, one of us will get hurt. And with my track record it will probably be me. At this point, I'm not sure I trust McGee either. I actually was shot. It was a through and through, but it took twenty-six stitches to repair the damage. Ziva told everyone it was a scratch. McGee actually believed her. If he doesn't believe me about being shot in the arm, what happens next time I get hurt? What if he's there when it happens and could have prevented it, but didn't because he won't listen to me? They don't respect me Abs. Tim hasn't for a while now…not since Ziva came. I'm just tired of it all. It's time I start to do things for me again. I've let my career stall because I was happy where I was. I'm not happy there anymore."

"What do you mean you let your career stall? You're a senior field agent."

"And I've been a senior field agent since six months after I joined NCIS. When I first became a cop, I worked my ass off to get a gold shield. All I wanted was to be a detective and I became one. I was the youngest cop to ever become a detective. I was driven. I'm not anymore…at least, not in terms of my job. I did just finish another degree."

"Really? How many does this make? Can you list them all?"

"So far, I've gotten my masters degree in physical education, music, criminology, computer science, and I just finished getting my masters in forensics. I'm trying to decide if I want to go for a doctorate in any of those."

"Damn Tony. Does anyone know about all that?"

"Just my accountant, although I did get all the necessary paperwork together to be added to my personnel file. I'm handing it in on Monday when I meet with the director. She's going to give me a list of open positions."

"There's nothing I can do to change your mind?" Abby asked sadly.

"You know I love you Abs. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. But this is something I need to do for me. It's time I find a place where I truly fit. I'll call, I'll write, I'll visit. You won't lose me. I promise," Tony said as he used his good arm to pull Abby back into a hug. When he felt her arms go around him, he knew she got it. She might not like it, but at least she understood.

"You'll always be my Tonyboy."

"And you'll always be my Mistress of the Dark."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: First: Thank you to everyone for all the awesome reviews and likes I've gotten so far. I'm so glad you're all enjoying this. Second: Originally I had planned to have Tony talk to Paula. While I don't like them as a couple, I do think they're okay as friends. She's very career driven and she'd be a good choice for Tony to discuss his options with. But then I got to the end of season 6 in my marathon and just watching the interaction between Tony and Abby in the Legends, and Semper Fi, I wanted her to back him up. I actually just finished catching up to season 10 so far, hence the delay in posting. I have now officially watched every episode including the JAG, two part pilot.

Here's a little more back story:  
As for Tony's degrees: In college he double majored in phys ed and music. When Brad broke his leg, it took him nearly a year and a half to heal and another 6 months to get back in shape. So during the two years he recovered, he had nothing better to do and got his degrees in criminology and computer science. When he started at NCIS and noticed how prevalent forensics were for their job, he decided to get a degree in that as well.

**If it's bold, it's a flashback.**

* * *

When Monday morning finally rolled around, Tony knew he was making the right decision. The only ones who'd checked on him at all since the container incident were Abby and Ducky. Of course most days lately they seemed to be the only ones who actually appreciated him. He'd spent all day Saturday with Abby. They talked, watched movies, and ate a fair amount of the food in his fridge. On Sunday, he'd gone over to Ducky's late in the morning. Ever since that protection detail they'd pulled when the crypt keepers were after Ducky, he spent his Sundays visiting with the man and his mother. Mrs. Mallard truly enjoyed the company of her "Italian Gigolo" and Tony liked her just as much. He'd even made her Tiramisu, her favorite dessert. While she was taking her afternoon nap, he spoke with Ducky at length about his decision.

"**I will support you no matter what you do, my boy. You are a wonderful Agent and you deserve better than they are treating you. You are a wonderful man as well Anthony. I don't know of any others your age who'd give up their entire Sunday just to entertain an elderly woman."**

"**Your mother's great Ducky. I've liked her since I first met her and she threatened to disembowel me," Tony said with a fond smile. "Good times."**

His phone began to beep, reminding him that he needed to leave. He pulled on his pea coat over his suit jacket, put his wallet and ID in his pocket, and clipped his phone, badge, and gun to his belt before locking up and heading down to his rental. He still hadn't gotten around to replacing his Corvette. He'd gotten the plague just a few days after he watched it totaled on national television. He surely didn't need a car in the two weeks he spent home recovering after two weeks in Bethesda. Then Kate…he just never replaced it. And right now that was looking like a good thing. Odds were he'd be leaving DC. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, but he was a quick adapter.

Sooner than he expected, he was at the Navy Yard. He quickly made his way through the gate, parked in his usual spot and made his way inside. He was grateful that the director requested such an early meeting time since he knew McGee and Ziva wouldn't get in until 0800 and Gibbs usually arrived at 0730. That meant he could move through the squad room and up to the director's office without being stopped. He did pause outside her office though, taking several deep breaths before knocking.

"Come in," came the soft voice from inside. Tony straightened his shoulders and opened the door. "Good morning director,"

"Good morning Agent DiNozzo. Why don't you hang up your jacket? This might take a while," Jenny said, motioning to the coat rack in the corner as she stood, picking up several folders from her desk. She took a seat at the head of the table, Tony sitting down next to her. "I have multiple openings so why don't we go over them all together first, then I'll let you have a day to make a decision."

"Sounds good," Tony said as he got ready to decide his future.

WBFT WBFT WBFT WBFT

Three months had passed since Tony had transferred from the MCRT to the USS Enterprise. He'd spent his first two weeks there working with Stan Burley, going over all recent and open cases, as well as learning the ropes. After those two weeks, he was left on his own as Agent Afloat while Stan took his place as TAD senior field agent on the MCRT. The two had become friends after working the meth case together and had kept in contact. When Tony discussed his issues with Stan, Stan made him an offer. They'd trade places for the rest of his scheduled four months on the Enterprise. After that assignment was fulfilled, they'd go to the director and discuss where to go from there. Stan was one of the few who truly enjoyed being an Agent Afloat and he knew how much Tony loved working on the MCRT, which is why he agreed to the switch. He knew if he took the post, he'd be able to relinquish it back to Tony whenever he wanted it. The good news was the director had no problem with this. The bad news was everyone else.

In true Gibbs fashion, when he'd found out about the switch, he'd gone straight to the director and yelled. It wasn't that he didn't like Stan. He knew the man was a capable agent, having worked with him for so long before he transferred. But he wanted DiNozzo. He recruited him, taught him the differences between being an agent and a homicide detective, he looked after the kid. He'd had enough of the director changing his team without his permission. She'd already messed with them once, he didn't want her doing anything else. Of course the director fought back, in that quiet voice of hers, giving him some BS story that Stan was up for a promotion and needed to brush up on his crime scene investigative skills so Tony offered to trade places with him for a few months. That story was easier to sell to the others, but Gibbs knew it wasn't true. When he found out, he'd gone straight to Tony's, where he found the younger man packing his clothes into a duffel bag.

"**Where the hell do you think you're going DiNozzo?"**

"**I think I'm going to the Enterprise Gibbs," he replied his voice giving away no emotion.**

"**And you just got this sudden urge to go sailing? You know I don't buy this story about Stan needing a refresher course. And even if he was offered a promotion to a team, we both know he wouldn't take it. He loves being an Agent Afloat."**

"**I needed a change okay?" Tony said wearily as he sat down on his bed. "I was talking to Stan about it and he offered to switch places for a few months. The director allowed it. It's not a big deal."**

"**It is a big deal! You don't get to quit this team. The only way you get to leave is when—"**

"**When I die right? Like I almost did from the plague? Like Kate did? You have no idea how I feel about any of that. You have no idea how many nights I've woken up from a nightmare about those damn blue lights, how many nights I've woken up to the feeling of her blood on my face. I thought I'd be okay eventually…that I could lean on my team, my family for support. Turns out we're not a family. Only two people seem to give a shit about me and you're not one of them. You care more about your precious Israeli who, by the way, hasn't proven that she can be trusted. Just because she saved your life doesn't mean that she's not the reason Kate's dead. She put together the dossiers, she told that bastard how to hurt you. She had orders to take him out, but instead she tried to prove him innocent and Kate was— that bullet damned her, but you let the other bullet redeem her. Good for you, but I don't trust her. Especially not after the bullshit she's pulled, especially this past week."**

"**And just what exactly was that?"**

"**Well let's see. First off, she seems to be obsessed with me," Tony said as he stood to face Gibbs. "And I'm not saying that because of my ego. She is constantly following me around, pushing herself into my personal space, digging into my life. You think she's asked anyone about McGee's personal life, or Abby's, or yours? No, she's asking everyone about me. If I want her to know anything about me, it'll come from me. She has no right to trick McGee into giving up info. She's trying to insinuate herself into this team. She was able to do it with you by saving your life. She's a strong woman so that's why McGee likes her. As for me she took it at face value that I'm a player so she's been trying to seduce me, which is why she is constantly in my face, which is pretty much sexual harassment at this point. When her little ploy didn't work, she started asking questions about me trying to figure out why. Maybe if we had met ten years ago it would have worked, but I'm not the same person and I'm not interested in her in any way shape or form. As for this past week specifically, let's not forget that she nearly shot me because she was dumb enough to fire a gun **_**inside**_** a sealed metal box." Tony said angrily. "There seems to have been a team party that all of you just neglected to mention until after the fact and you all took great delight in rubbing in the fact that I wasn't there."**

"**Hey, it's not our fault you had other plans."**

"**Is that what she told you? Good little liar that one. I bet you believed that, just like you believed her when she said I cut my arm on a crate. Do you know of a wood that can slice through three shirts and a thick, wool lined coat? Because I sure as hell don't. I was shot. Fortunately it was a through and through and they were able to stitch up the damage. But don't bother checking on me. Don't bother to verify the facts or believe me for that matter, good job breaking that rule by the way. Who's the one who's been your partner for nearly five years? It certainly wasn't that little girl. But go ahead, break rule one while you're at it. It's okay. Tony won't give a shit because he's just a clown right? You can dump on me all you want, but I am your Senior Field Agent and I am damn good at my job. I deserve to be treated with respect. That chick doesn't respect anyone and ever since she came McGee doesn't respect me either. You guys just let her right on in so easily. Well I'm sorry if this isn't easy for me. I almost died from the plague Gibbs. You weren't there for the worst of it. Kate was. She risked her own life to stay with me. Even after the bug was dead, she was by my side more often than not while I spent two weeks in the hospital recovering from severe pneumonia. We may have fought constantly, but Kate was my sister and I loved her. And now she's gone and you just moved right on, all of you. But I can't. So I'm done. I need a break from your little club of Tony haters. We both know Stan's a good guy and a great agent. He did this job before me and he'll do fine in my place."**

"**And when this assignment's over?" Gibbs asked. He knew that nothing he said was going to change Tony's mind. He could deny everything he just heard, but at this point it wouldn't make a difference. "Will you switch places with Stan again? Will you come back to my team?"**

"**Honestly? Right now, I don't know. It's only been a few months since everything happened and I'm tired. I'm tired of being treated like an idiot. I'm tired of being treated like I don't matter. I'm just tired Gibbs."**

**Neither man said anything for a few minutes, both just standing there processing everything that had been said, both looking everywhere but at each other. Surprisingly it was Gibbs who broke the silence.**

"**Look, DiNozzo, we both know I don't talk about this stuff, but since I already broke a couple of rules, I'm gonna break another one. I'm sorry. You're right, I believed what I was told and I never double checked. And I never checked to make sure you were alright after spending a day in a cold, damp, metal box. You're also right that I know you better than anyone on the team. I should have listened to you. I know how good an investigator you are. I wouldn't have stolen you from Baltimore if I didn't. You're the best young agent I ever worked with. I know you're not an idiot and I know you don't like to show off your skills in front of other people. I should have noticed what was going on, with Ziva and how she's been acting, with you. But I didn't, and I'm sorry. I never knew just how close you were to Kate. I didn't see how hard losing her has been on you. So I get it. The time away could be good for you. You'll be able to focus more on healing without having to worry about such huge, stressful cases. But you're wrong about one thing. We _are_ a family. We may be dysfunctional at the moment, but we're still your family Tony. And I'm going to miss you. I'll try not to give Stan another ulcer while you're gone," Gibbs said with a smile. **

"**You know I think that's the most I've ever heard you say at one time?" Tony replied with a grin. **

"**I can talk when I need to. So do you need some help packing?"**

"**I'm not taking much. All my suits are staying here so I'm just filling up my duffel with my regular clothes, then there's my laptop and I've got my mp3 player for use in the gym, and that's it. My apartment's paid up til the end of the year. My neighbor's going to keep an eye on it for me and clean it twice a month."**

"**And you're really sure this is what you want to do?"**

"**I need to get away for a while, get my head on straight, drop the masks. I'll be back before you know it."**

"**You better be. I depend on you."**

* * *

A/N: Well this came out waaaaay longer than I planned. Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: For the purposes of this story, the Enterprise is in the Mediterranean. Also, I know Tony hated being afloat in Season 6, but this time it's of his own choice and there are different circumstances.

The below quote was said by Saphira in the novel Eragon by Christopher Paolini.

* * *

"Find peace in where and what you are."

* * *

Tony found life at sea to be somewhat peaceful. Sure he sometimes felt claustrophobic, sure not everyone liked him, but his job was fairly laid back. There'd been a few pranks that got out of hand, some fights he'd had to break up, petty thefts, but there were no murders, no kidnappings, nothing that required him to put in eighteen-hour days. It was a massive change of pace to the life he'd been living since he became a cop, but with everything he'd been through, he needed the calm. He'd been on the Enterprise for three and a half months now and he was more than recovered from the plague. He'd been on a strict exercise regimen since he'd recovered that helped him build up his lung capacity. With all his downtime on the ship, he spent five hours a day in the gym, three in the morning, and two at night. He was now in the best shape he'd been in since his college ball days. He was also free to just be himself for once in his life. He didn't need to hide his skills or his intelligence and he wore his glasses more often than his contacts.

Another new thing he'd done in his downtime was keeping a journal. He'd started once Stan left and he was the sole agent on the ship. Sometimes he wrote about his day or his nightmares, sometimes he wrote about Kate, sometimes he'd write poetry. He'd also taken to drawing. It was different then the sketching he'd do at a crime scene, but it helped him calm and focus his mind when his thoughts got out of control. Both practices were better therapy then seeing a shrink, he felt. They'd helped his mind recover from the past year. He no longer had nightmares about blue lights, waking up gasping for breath. He no longer had nightmares about Kate, waking up to the feel of her blood on his face. Now when he dreamt about his former partner, they were happy, full of teasing and smiles. Tony knew that he would always miss her. No one could ever replace her in his heart, but while he continued to say a novena and light a candle for her regularly, he had recovered from the loss. He was finally able to mourn properly and heal.

The ringing of the phone interrupted both his thoughts and his latest email to Abby. He'd already sent off his daily email to Gibbs and Ducky. It was ironic, but since he'd left, he'd become closer to all three of them. He found it was much easier to write about his thoughts and feelings than to admit to them out loud.

"Agent DiNozzo," he said as he picked up the phone.

"There's a video call for you in the communications room sir."

"I'm on my way," Tony said before he hung up. He grabbed his weapon and secured his office, heading up to the comm. room. When he arrived, he found the captain waiting there, but otherwise the room was empty. Once Tony entered, the captain closed the door, turning the room into a SCIF. He didn't say anything, just walked over to the control panel and turned the video on. Since the room was secure, they used the speaker to communicate instead of headphones.

"Agent DiNozzo, Captain Carson," Director Shepard said as she came up on the screen.

"Director. What can we do for you?" Tony asked.

"There was an...accident. The MCRT had an assignment and part of that assignment involved Agent Gibbs communicating with a deep cover agent onboard a ship. I won't go into the particulars of the assignment right now. Suffice it to say that things didn't go as planned. Agent Gibbs was led away from the designated meeting room and there was an explosion. He survived, but he's currently at Portsmouth General in a coma."

Tony paled significantly as he nearly fell over. The captain grabbed his arm when he started to go down and helped him into a chair. "Is—is he going to be alright?"

"He's stable, but still in critical condition. The rest of the MCRT is investigating this. I agreed it'd be better for them to do it then bring in another team. Agent Burley currently has the lead, but he specifically requested I bring you back to lead the team. I know this is hard," Jenny said in a soft voice. "This has been hard on everyone, but I need to know if you can do this. I need to know if you can lead the MCRT, not only in this investigation, but temporarily until Gibbs is healed and ready to take it back."

Tony sat there, absorbing everything he was told, but he was having a hard time processing it. What went so wrong that Gibbs had been injured so badly? Where was the rest of the team? Was he truly ready to dive headfirst back into the deep end?

"**I'll be back."**

"**You better be," Gibbs said. "I depend on you."**

Those were the last words Gibbs said to him before he left for the Enterprise. He took a deep breath. He could do this. He had to do this. Although they'd had their rough patches, he knew his boss always had his six and vice versa. He was ready.

"I can do this Director. Have Stan email me both the details of their assignment and everything they have so far. I'll review it on my way back."

"I have a COD on stand-by. It'll take you to the base in Naples," the captain said.

"The SecNav is there at a conference. He's offered his Gulfstream to fly you home. This case is a top priority. It'll be ready to go in 3 hours. That should give you enough time to pack your belongings and get to the base. I'll have Agent Burley fax over everything they have to our office there," Jenny continued. "Agent Jackson is going to hop the COD back to the ship and remain as Agent Afloat until we have this case solved. We'll figure out what to do after that."

"Yes ma'am," both Tony and the captain said. They cut the transmission and stood facing each other. "You're a good agent Tony. We're going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too Cap. You've been a good friend. I'll get a hold of you in a couple weeks when we have a plan of action."

"No problem. Go on and get packed. COD's ready to go whenever you are."

* * *

A/N: Just a quickie that took on a life of it's own. I actually had a different opening written, but when I started typing it up, this came out instead. Let me know what you think. If there's anything you guys want to see, suggestions are always welcome.

For those of you who don't know: COD stands for Carrier Onboard Delivery.

Happy Mother's day to all.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: My apologies to queenbee1711. I had planned to have this posted on Monday, but work got in the way. I hope this chapter came out okay.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Since this picks up during parts 1 and 2 of Hiatus, direct quotes will be in **bold. ** Brief mention of the episode Baltimore. So brief you might miss it if you blink. Brief mention of Wendy as well, but it's an AU so I changed up how that relationship ended. _Italics are flashbacks._

TIME notice: This episode aired in May so sunset's around 7:30pm aka 1930. Naples, Italy is 6 hours ahead of Washington DC, which means if Tony got up at 5am Naples time, it was 11pm aka 2300 the previous night in DC. So by the time he gets to the yard, he's been up for 20 1/2 hours.

* * *

Tony's first stop upon his arrival at the Norfolk International Airport was to Portsmouth General to both check in with the director, as well as see Gibbs and get an update on his condition. Originally the plane had been set to take him DC, but he needed to see the man for himself. Fortunately the pilot was able to change course without a problem, saving the agent a 3 hour drive.

"Director Sheppard," Tony said softly as he entered Gibbs' room. "How is he?"

"He's stable, but he's in a coma," the director replied as they moved to the back corner of the room. "Have you caught yourself up on the investigation?"

"Both on this case so far and the team's assignment prior to the explosion. I also spoke to Stan on the plane who gave me a full sitrep. He caught me up on everything new, which wasn't much. Abby's still running trace on the bomb and DNA and Ducky's still working on the autopsy."

"Good. If you need anything else to get this done and find the bomber, just let me know."

"Yes Ma'am. Does the team know I'm coming?"

"I've asked Agent Burley to inform them."

Several doctors and nurses entered the room then and began looking over their patient. Tony stood silently next to the director and watched them work. After a few minutes, he said **"Coffee."**

"**Coffee?" The director asked. **

"**Sure way to wake Gibbs," he replied.**

"**Good idea. But he's intubated we'll have to use the IV."**

The doctor interrupted them then, telling them the head neurologist would be taking over. When the director asked the neurologist if Gibbs was in pain, the man turned around and asked them about the marine's past. Tony knew all about it of course. When Gibbs had offered him the job working at NCIS, he ran a full background on the man. After what he had just gone through with Danny, he refused to blindly partner up with anyone again. So he'd found out all about the marine's injuries overseas, found out about the tragedy of Kelly and Shannon's deaths. He never told the older man he knew though. He'd been through enough tragedy in his own life and it was never something he felt comfortable talking about. He knew the older man was the same.

Once the doctors were done, the director decided to stay at the hospital, while Tony headed off to DC in the car he'd rented at the airport. As soon as he arrived at the yard, his first stop was Autopsy, where he found Ducky staring at a cat scan. "Ah, Anthony my dear boy. I am grateful to see you, but this is a terrible way to welcome you home, I'm afraid."

"Not exactly how I imagined coming back either Ducky. Hey Palmer," Tony called over his shoulder.

"Hey Tony. Welcome back."

"So what happened to your guest here?"

"**His skull was shattered. The explosion blew him against the overhead, as if he were fired from a cannon."**

"**The oil drum," **the agent stated, having read in Stan's preliminary report that the drum was the point of origin for the blast.

"**Precisely. Now don't ask me what our guest was doing in an oil drum sitting on a bomb, cause I haven't the foggiest."**

"**Hm. No other explanation?"**

"**None that would explain these remains."**

"**I need a positive ID on this body Duck." **

"**DNA tissue is in Abby's capable hands. **Have you been to see Jethro?"

"Yeah, headed over as soon as I landed. He's doesn't look too bad, but he's still unconscious. The director's with him."

"**I better get down to Portsmouth."**

"**Not until you finish the autopsy.** There's nothing you can do for him at the hospital anyway. We need you here."

"You're right. I will complete the autopsy before heading over. It's good to have you back Tony."

"It's good to see you too Ducky. I'm going to go check in with Abby, see if she's gotten a hit on the DNA yet," he said as he turned to leave. Just outside autopsy, he stood leaning against the wall. The sun was beginning to set already and he was exhausted. He'd gotten up at 0500 on the carrier that morning, done his usual three hours at the gym before catching up on all his paperwork. He'd finished that by 1000 and then he got to work on his emails to everyone back home. Things had been awkward at first with both Gibbs and Abby. He'd made a bit of peace with them before he left, but it wasn't until he'd been gone about a month that things truly went back to normal in their relationships. Though in the case of his relationship with his boss, things returned to their old normal…the before Kate normal.

Before Kate had joined their team at NCIS, there had been Vivian Blackadder. She came onto the team not long after Tony finished FLETC. At that time, Tony was still engaged to his girlfriend Wendy. He'd proposed to her just two weeks before he left Baltimore and she'd stayed with him through the upheaval with his job and move to DC. She'd followed a few weeks later and moved in with him. She got a job teaching at a school in the city and had met both his teammates when she came to see him at work one day. They stayed together for 6 months after his move. Then the 3 happened. Bad things always come in threes. The first thing was getting his wrist broken by a perp that had fought back. The second thing was Vivian deciding to head back to the FBI after she nearly got the team killed and let a terrorist escape. The final thing was Wendy deciding she could no longer marry him, just two months before the wedding was scheduled. He'd been heartbroken. His boss found him one night asleep at his desk, a few days after the breakup.

"_What are you doing here Tony?" Gibbs asked softly._

"_Hey Gibbs," the younger man replied groggily. "I was just finishing up some paperwork. Must have fallen asleep."_

"_Really? Because I know for a fact you finished all the paperwork six hours ago. So how about the real reason now?"_

"_I don't want to go home okay?" He said as he rubbed his hands over his face. "Wendy left me. I got home from work the other day and she already had all her stuff packed up and in a truck she rented. That apartment was _our_ place ya know? I just can't face the emptiness of it." _

"_Tony," Gibbs said softly, pulling over a chair. "I'm going to break a rule for you here and I don't plan to ever do it again, so pay attention. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know how much you loved her. I've been married three times myself and each one of them has left me. It's never easy and it's always painful. It'll get easier in time. And if the apartment was your place, why don't you just get a new one when the lease is up? I'll even help you look if you want."_

That was how Tony came to live in his two bedroom condo. He hadn't been looking to buy, but when he saw the photos of the condo and the building, he fell in love. The fact it had soundproofing was an added bonus. He'd be able to play his piano or guitar, have his surround sound for his movies and no one would bother him about the noise. The place he'd been staying with Wendy had been a monthly lease, so within a month of her leaving, he was moved into his new place. He didn't really have much to move. It was mostly his TV and movies. He bought all new furniture, including a new bed, which he had custom made. It was the length of a California King, the only one long enough his feet wouldn't hang off the end, but the width was only that of a full size bed. He didn't need anything bigger. He wasn't planning on ever having another woman in his bed. He also had his mother's baby grand piano pulled out of storage and brought to the new place.

The ding of the elevator pulled him from his thoughts. Before he could move to stand up, McGee crashed into him and the two went down hard, Tony's nose getting whacked in the process. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," McGee said as he helped Tony off the floor. "Tony, I'm so sor—" He cut off when Tony held up his hand. The older man pointed to the elevator and they both got in, facing each other as McGee hit the button for their bullpen.

"**Hate the sight of blood Probie? Too bad,"** Tony said, moving his hand away from his nose to reveal the massive blood flow under it. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Now, what was so important that you had to tackle me?"

"Abby slapped Ziva and Ziva slapped her back."

"Are you serious? Why?"

That was not the reaction McGee had been expecting. He expected Tony to get all excited or upset because he missed it. Clearly his time away had changed him. "Uh—they were fighting about Gibbs. Ziva was acting like she doesn't care that he's hurt."

"Alright, I want you to get them both up here; Stan too when he's done in MTAC," Tony said when the elevator opened. "I'm going to grab my bag from my car and get cleaned up. I'll be back in twenty."

"Tony, I really am sorry," McGee said a sad little frown on his face.

"I know kid. It's good to see you. I like the haircut."

"Thanks. It's good to see you again too."


End file.
